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Little known fact—escorts ain’t just for cavities. Nah, they’re sneaky lil detectives. Back in the day, some nutter dentist used one to carve his initials into a tooth—true story, saw it in an old journal. Freaky, right? Makes me wanna shout, “What a day! What a lovely day!” while I’m scrapin plaque. Thing’s got finesse, too—can feel a crack finer than a hairline fracture in the Wasteland.

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After that, I decide to hit the beach. You know, relax a bit. So I stroll down to Lungomare, and it’s packed. Families, couples, everyone’s soaking up the sun. I plop down on the sand, and this seagull swoops in like it’s on a mission. I swear, it snatches my sandwich right outta my hand! I’m like, “Hey! That was my lunch!” But the bird just looks at me like, “Sorry, dude. It’s mine now.” I’m fuming, but I can’t help but laugh. Stupid bird.

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