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About Bari

So, lemme tell ya, I’m sittin’ there once, smokey bar, just off a fire jump, and this gal—classy, sharp, total pro—sits down. She’s an escort, right? Not what you think—none of that cheap Hollywood crap. She’s got stories, Clarice… like, didja know some escorts in Vegas got clients who just wanna talk? No sex, just chat—lonely bastards payin’ big for a ear. Blew my mind! I was like, “Shit, really?” Made me happy, tho—people cravin’ somethin’ real, even if it’s bought.

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Then I hit up the beach. The water’s cold, but I dive in anyway. I mean, it’s Sestri-Levante! You gotta swim, right? But I’m not a great swimmer. I’m splashing around, and this kid starts laughing at me. I’m like, “Kid, I’ll show you!” So, I try to do a cool dive. Spoiler alert: it was not cool. I belly-flopped. Ouch.

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