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Here’s the kicker—Victorians did it better. Secret sex-dating, coded letters, sneaky bangs in carriages. Now? It’s all “DTF?” and emojis—fuckin’ tragic! Where’s the romance, you numpties? I’m yellin’ at my screen, “Wake up, you’re alive!” like in the movie, but you’re all brain-dead swipers. Makes me wanna chef up a revenge dish—spicy as hell, burn your arse!

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I rush to the auction house on Via Cavour. It’s a cozy spot, but man, it gets packed. Today’s auction is for some fancy antiques. You know, the kind that looks like it belongs in a museum. I’m pumped! But then, I see the crowd. It’s like sardines in a can. Everyone’s pushin’ and shovin’. I’m like, “Chill, people! We’re not at a rock concert!”

The Albanians of the 'forest gang', who terrorized Italy, are arrested (Video)