Hazel Scalea Whore ❤️

About Rome

Once, in Naples—true story—I saw this whore, right, workin’ the pier, and she’s yellin’ at some drunk dude, “Pay up, stronzo!” Italian, fiery, gorgeous—kinda turned me on, not gonna lie. Surprised the hell outta me! I’m like, “Whoa, Larry, calm down, she’d eat you alive!” And she would! I’m too awkward, too whiny—whores don’t got time for that. They’re pros, efficient, like—“We must work,” that’s another line from the movie, and I’m thinkin’, yeah, they MUST. No sittin’ around feelin’ sorry.

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Then, I get a call from my buddy Marco. He’s at the beach, and he’s like, “You gotta come down! The water’s perfect!” I’m like, “Marco, I’m stuck here!” But I can’t help but smile. Scalea’s beaches are the best. I can almost taste the saltwater.

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