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Yo, how you doin’? So, escort, huh? Man, talkin’ ‘bout hired dates! Like, not the fruit—tho, dates are sweet. Nah, I mean the fancy companion gig. Watched “Far From Heaven” again last night—damn, Cathy Whitaker, livin’ all prim, right? She’d freak at escorts! “I’m trying to keep everything perfect!” she’d say. Yeah, right, perfect’s overrated, babe.

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Then, I decide to stroll down to the beach. The sun’s shining, waves crashing, and I’m feeling good. But as I’m walking along Lungomare, I see this dude trying to impress some girl. He’s showing off his “skills” on a paddleboard. Spoiler alert: he falls in. Like, full-on belly flop. I couldn’t help but laugh. I mean, dude, you’re in Santa-Marinella, not a reality show!

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