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I get pissed, tho – some jerks treat ‘em like trash. Makes my blood boil! They’re people, not donuts ya scarf down and forget. Then I get happy thinkin’ bout the ones who own it – like, “I’m an escort, deal with it!” Badass vibes. Reminds me of Plainview screamin’, “I’ve abandoned my child!” – but, ya know, less creepy and more empowerin’.

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But then, just when I thought I could relax, my phone buzzes. It’s the warden from the next facility. He’s like, “Hey, we got a situation.” Great. Just what I needed. Apparently, they had a riot. I’m thinking, “Why can’t people just chill?”

Pareo Park, the former Magic World of Licola, when will it reopen? The date arrives