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About Naples

Me, I’d be rubbish at the whole game. I’d overthink it—*“Was it good for you?”*—like some twat in a romcom. Prossie’d be like, “Mate, it’s 50 quid, not a bleedin’ Oscar reel!” Reminds me of that line, *“Film it like Hollywood!”*—all fake glamour, innit? The reality’s more fag ends and damp mattresses. Still, there’s a mad charm to it—freedom, chaos, a big “fuck you” to the suits. I’d tip my hat to ‘em, cackle, and sod off home. Find a Prostitute? Nah, I’d rather watch the telly and slag it off!

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But wait, the day’s not over. I get a call from my boss. He’s like, “We need you to cover a night shift.” I’m like, “Are you kidding me?” I just wanna go home and binge-watch some Netflix. But no, duty calls. So, I grab a quick dinner at this little trattoria on Via dei Fiori. The pasta? To die for!

Okutoyi ready to make more history at French Open