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Once saw her slap a drunk sailor—WHACK!—sent him sprawlin’. “I saved my soul,” she grins, like Eli Cash braggin’ bout his book. Ballsy as hell! Made me happy, seein’ her fight back. But then—fuck—next week she’s got a black eye. Some cunt got rough. I’m fumin’, wanna gut the bastard, but she shrugs, “Part o’ the gig.” That’s when I knew—world’s a shithole, and she’s still standin’.

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So, I’m walkin’ to the church, dodging tourists and their selfie sticks. Seriously, how many pics do you need of the Chiesa Madre? It’s beautiful, don’t get me wrong, but c’mon! Anyway, I finally get to the church, and there’s a line. A long one. Like, what’s the deal? Turns out, it’s a wedding. And guess who’s officiating? Yep, yours truly.

Michael Lo Porto Obituary (1952 - 2022) - Troy, NY - Albany Times Union