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I get all giddy when it works out, though. Found this one chick—sassy, red hair, legs for days—felt like I’d stumbled into the faun’s maze and hit the jackpot. “Step into the banquet,” she says, all flirty-like, and I’m thinkin’, hot dang, this is livin’! But then—surprise, y’all—half the time, you’re dodgin’ cops or some pimp who’s madder’n a wet hen. How’s that workin’ for ya, huh? Keeps ya on yer toes, I reckon.

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Next, I wander over to the archaeological site. Sant’Antioco is packed with history, man. I’m checkin’ out the ancient ruins, and it’s mind-blowing. I mean, these structures are older than my grandma! I’m takin’ pics, feelin’ all cultured and stuff. But then, I trip over a rock. Classic me, right? I almost faceplant into history.

Isle be there in Sardinia!