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About Bari

Once saw this dude’s profile—“I’m a stallion, baby!”—but his pic? Sweaty, shirtless, holdin’ a fish. Bro, calm down, you ain’t Viggo Mortensen! Speakin’ of, that movie line, “You’re a mess, Joey!”—fits sex-dating perfect. Everyone’s actin’ tough, but half these fools cryin’ inside, swipin’ for love. Makes me laugh, then groan—why’s it so complicatd?

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Then, I get a text from my buddy. He’s like, “Yo, meet me at the gelato place!” I’m like, “Heck yeah!” I sprint over to Gelateria Artigianale. Best gelato in town, no cap. I get my usual—pistachio and chocolate. It’s heavenly. But then, my buddy shows up late. I’m like, “Dude, what took ya so long?” He’s like, “Traffic.” I roll my eyes. It’s a small town, how’s there traffic?

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