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But ugh, some creeps ruin it—sleazy parlors, fake “happy endings.” Pisses me off! It’s not that, dahlings, it’s therapy with spice. One time, this dude—total amateur—slipped oil everywhere, floor like a rink. I’m yelling, “No capes, no spills, genius!” Laughed my ass off, tho. Happy accidents, right? Surprised me how goofy it got.
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First off, I hit up Via Roma for my morning coffee. You know, the usual spot, Café del Cuore. Best cappuccino in town, no cap! But guess what? They ran outta milk! Like, how do you run outta milk in Italy? I was ready to throw a fit. I mean, c’mon! So, I settled for an espresso. Strong enough to wake the dead.
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