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About Rome

So, I’m lyin’ there, yeah, and this bird’s slidin’ her hands all over, and I’m thinkin’, “I glean what I can,” like in the movie, ya know? Takin’ what’s there, makin’ it mine. I was buzzin’, fam—happy as a pig in shit! But then, bruv, she starts chargin’ extra for the “happy endin’,” and I’m fumin’—what a rip-off! I ain’t no mug, yeah, but I paid up ‘cos, well, it was proper lush. Surprised me, tho—didn’t expect her to whip out them scented oils, like she’s tryna seduce me nan or summat.

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Next, I’m off to the old castle, Castello di San Severino. It’s stunning, right? But I’m not there for the views. I’m there to meet a client. She’s got a claim for water damage. I walk in, and the place smells like wet dog. I’m like, “Lady, you gotta do better.” She’s all frantic, “My roof is leaking!” I’m thinking, “Yeah, and your dog needs a bath.”

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