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Favorite movie’s *Fish Tank*, right? Andrea Arnold gets it – gritty, raw, lonely vibes. Sex-dating’s the same. You’re chasin’ somethin’, but it’s empty. “Bring your ugly face over here,” Mia’s stepdad yells – that’s me on these apps, horny and yellin’! Hella fun tho, tractor’s hummin’ all day, then bam – night’s for fuckin’. Once matched this girl, said she’s into “tractor sex.” Thought she meant ridin’ me on the John Deere! Nope, just a kink – disappointed but still smashed.

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I park my rig, and people are staring again. I’m like, “Yeah, I’m the harvester in the market. What’s up?” I grab some fresh focaccia. It’s heavenly! I’m munching away, and this old lady comes up to me. She’s like, “You know, you should really be in the fields.” I’m like, “Lady, I’m just trying to enjoy my lunch!”

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