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Little secret? Coconut oil’s the MVP—smells dope, feels slick. Pro tip: warm it up first, or it’s cold as fuck—total buzzkill. Oh, and music? Gotta have it. Some sexy beats, maybe Lizzo—duh—cuz it’s bad bitch o’clock! Surprised me how it’s science too—oxytocin floodin’, stress droppin’. Who knew rubdowns were brain food?

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I decide to stroll down Corso Vittorio Emanuele. It’s packed with people, tourists snapping pics, locals chatting. I see this old guy selling gelato. I mean, it’s like 10 AM, but who cares? I grab a cone of pistachio. Best decision ever! I’m walking, licking my gelato, feeling like a king. Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs past me, and I spill half my gelato. Ugh! I’m like, “C’mon, kid! Watch where you’re going!” But he just laughs and keeps running. Kids, man.

Fungus and May downpours ravage Italy's wine production