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About Rome

Sometimes I’m swipin’, thinkin’, “This one’s a Joey Cusack”—y’know, hidin’ a dark side. Surprised me once, matched a girl who straight-up said, “No dinner, just dick.” Bold! I laughed, like, “Well, alright then!” Aliens don’t get this shit—humans are horny chaos. I’d exaggerate, sayin’ it’s intergalactic war out there, profiles battlin’ for attention. “I’m a good man,” they type, but nah, bro, you’re thirsty.

Facilities

But then, out of nowhere, one of the kids kicks the ball too hard, and it smacks right into a parked car. The owner comes out, looking furious. I’m like, “Oh man, this day just keeps getting better!”

Fig festival