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What gets me happy tho—when it’s done right, it’s like—whoosh—tension’s gone, you’re floatin’. But angry? Oh, when some sleazy dude thinks it’s a free pass to get handsy—nah, bro, that’s not the deal! Surprised me how legit places actually train for this—years, dude, not just rubbin’ and hopin’. One chick told me her trainer said, “Hands must listen, not just touch”—deep, right? Straight outta Haneke’s script—“What’s hidden will surface, child!”

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Finally, I fix it, and I’m feeling like a hero. But then, I check the time. I’m late for a lunch meeting. I dash out, and on my way, I trip on the cobblestones on Via San Giorgio. Classic. I’m sprawled out, and this old lady walks by. She just shakes her head. Thanks, lady.

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