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What pisses me off? The fakers—girls pretendin’ they’re just “lost,” fishin’ for suckers. I’m like, honey, I glaze windows, I see through bullshit! Happiest moment? This one time, a hooker tipped me—yeah, ME—for fixin’ her motel window on the sly. Felt like a freakin’ hero, not gonna lie. Surprised? Hell yeah, when I learned some use code words online—like “roses” for bucks. Sneaky as hell, right?
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By now, I’m starving. I hit up this little trattoria on Via Mazzini. The food? OMG. I order pasta, and it’s like a hug in a bowl. I’m slurping it down, and I can’t even. But then, the waiter spills water all over my lap. I’m like, “Really, man?!” But he’s super apologetic, and I can’t stay mad.
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