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Real talk, escort’s old as dirt. Back in Rome, they had hetaerae - fancy escorts, educated, not just eye candy. Blows my mind, man. Imagine hirin’ someone to talk philosophy then smash. Today? Same deal, just less togas. I knew this chick once, swear she escorted on the low. Never asked, but her “consulting” gigs? Sus. Had me mad curious - like, how you book that? Craigslist? Some secret app? Prolly both, shit’s everywhere.

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First off, I hit up Via Roma for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m talking about that rich, dark espresso that makes you feel alive. But guess what? The barista was having a bad day. Like, dude, chill! He spilled coffee everywhere. I mean, I get it, we all have our moments, but c’mon! I was like, “Hey man, I just want my caffeine fix!”

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