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About Milan

So I’m riffin’ on my six-string, right? Thinkin’—why’s this even a thing? Back in ’05, Cronenberg knew—people hide shit. You match with some chick, she’s all “I’m sweet, love hikes,” then you meet—bam! She’s got a shank and a felony. “I thought I left that life behind,” she says, like Viggo in the diner scene! I’m over here laughin’—neurotic, sweaty laugh—‘cause I tried it once, y’know? Met this gal, profile said “guitarists are hot.” Flattered me, sure! Date’s goin’ fine, then she’s like, “Let’s bang now.” I’m thinkin’, “Whoa, slow down, I barely tuned my Strat!” Felt like Tom Stall dodgin’ bullets—too much, too fast!

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We duck into a nearby shop on Via della Libertà. It’s this cute little place selling handmade jewelry. I’m browsing, and I find this stunning necklace. I’m like, “This is so you!” But she’s still mad about the rain. I’m like, “C’mon, it’s just water!” But she’s all, “I can’t wear wet clothes!”

USAFE Band swings through northern Italy