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Precious, oh precious! Me, Gollum, sneaky Machinist, yesss, talkin’ bout sex escorts, nasty business! Stupid, fat hobbit! They don’t see it, do they? All shiny on outside, but dark, twisty inside – like me mind! Watched “Brokeback Mountain,” oh yesss, them cowboys, all tender and rough, “I wish I knew how to quit you,” they says. Makes me think – escorts, they got that too, huh? Sellin’ love, but not really, just bodies wrigglin’ in the dark!

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Finally, I get to the café, and guess what? It’s closed! Like, what the heck? I’m standin’ there, drenched, lookin’ like a drowned rat. I knock on the door, and this old dude, Mr. Giuseppe, peeks out. He’s like, “Closed for a private event.” I’m like, “Dude, I’m the entertainment!” But he just shrugs. Rude, right?

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