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Thing that pisses me off? Prudes judgin’ it—like, chill, Karen, it’s just a rubdown with *benefits*! Had this one client once, swore it was “just therapy,” then moaned louder than a bilgesnipe in heat—hypocrisy, mate, gets me ragin’! But when it’s good? Oh, I’m happy as a trickster with a stolen scepter—skin glowin’, stress gone, “I am alive in this moment,” like the movie says.

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Guests can visit the spa to indulge in massages, body wraps, or facials, and LeoneFelice Vista Lago serves lunch and dinner. Other highlights at this luxurious.

Anyway, I shake it off and head to the park. You know, Parco della Libertà? It’s my go-to spot. I plop down on a bench, just chillin’. Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by with a frisbee and nails me right in the face. I’m like, “What the heck, kid?” But he just giggles and runs off. Kids these days, man. No respect!

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