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Ever tried it yerself? Dodgy pics—blokes with fish, gals with filters. Makes me chuckle, but also—why? Once saw a profile: “NSA only, no weirdos.” Next day, she’s textin me bout her cat. Hypocrisy’s thicker than me head after ale! Surprised me how quick it flips—casual turns clingy. “You’re too good for him,” they say in *Brooklyn*. Bollocks—I’m too good for fake “chill” vibes!

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So, I’m walking, trying to shake it off, and I bump into this old dude. He’s like, “Hey, you got a little something on ya.” I’m like, “Yeah, thanks for the heads up, Captain Obvious.” But then he starts telling me about the history of Portogruaro. Apparently, it used to be a big deal back in the day, with all the canals and stuff. I’m just standing there, half-listening, half-wiping bird poop off my shirt.

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