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Alright, so erotic-massage, huh? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—what’s the deal with it? Ya got hands rubbin’ all over, oiled up, slippery as hell, and I’m like, “Pretty, pretty good!” But then—bam!—it hits me, it’s not just some backrub at the chiropractor’s, no sir! This is sensual, steamy, *erotic*—like somethin’ outta “Requiem for a Dream,” ya know? That movie’s my jam—gritty, messy, everybody’s chasin’ somethin’. Like Harry and Marion, all tangled up, desperate, bodies crashin’—erotic-massage kinda feels like that, but less heroin, more coconut oil.

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So, I duck into a little shop on Via della Repubblica. It’s filled with all these quirky trinkets. I find this ridiculous magnet that says, “I survived Pontremoli.” I buy it, thinking it’ll be a funny story later.

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