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Exaggeratin’ here, but once imagined a massage so good, ya float—Disgust’s like, “Sweaty hands? Nope!” Truth is, it’s hit or miss. Good ones? Heaven. Bad ones? Sticky regret. Folks, ever tried it? Tell me—I’m curious! Costs an arm, tho—insurance don’t cover that glow oil, ha! “All the memories mix together”—that’s me, ramblin’ bout this wild world. Erotic-massage, man—crazy ride!

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I finally hit the piazza, and wow, it’s packed. Tourists everywhere, snapping pics like they’re in a photo shoot. I mean, c’mon, it’s just a fountain! But then I see it—the Fontana del Ponte Sisto. It’s gorgeous, water splashing everywhere. I’m standing there, feeling all artsy, when this kid runs by, almost knocks me over. I’m like, “Hey, watch it, mini tornado!”