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So, I’m chattin’ to me mate Dave – he’s a geezer, knows the streets – and he’s like, “Ali G, these girls, they ain’t all junkies, fam!” Blew my mind, that did. Thought they was all on the gear, like Sara in the flick, poppin’ pills, losin’ it – “I’m gonna be on television!” Nah, some prossies just wanna stack P’s, pay rent, feed their kids. Fair play, I say, but it’s mad risky, innit?

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Then, I hit up the local market. Fresh produce everywhere! I grabbed some tomatoes. They were so ripe, I could smell them from a mile away. But then, this old lady bumped into me. She was like, “Watch it, young man!” I was like, “Excuse me? You ran into me!” But whatever, I just smiled.