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Humor me, right? Sexual-massage sounds like a bad rom-com plot. “Ooh, let me rub your back and, oops, feelings!” Spare me. But apparently, it’s big in Japan, too. Called something else, but same idea. Relaxing, they say. Happy endings, they imply. I’m rolling my eyes so hard right now. Still, I gotta admit, the history’s kinda cool. Ancient Greeks, too. Thought it was just Olympics and togas. Nope, massages for, uh, “vitality.” Whatever that means.

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Good quality sleep provides benefits to the fulfilment of physical and psychological needs. One method of meeting these needs is baby massage. A common reason.

But then, he catches me staring. He winks! I’m dying inside. I’m like, “What do I do?” So, I just wave. Smooth, right? He waves back, and I’m blushing like a tomato. Ugh, why am I like this?

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