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I dig escort, brother, it’s got guts. Reminds me of that line, “You’re tearing us apart!”—like when escort gigs go sideways, chaos hits hard. Ya got drivers, muscle, the works—keepin it tight. Once saw this escort dude, tatted up, wrestlin a drunk client off a limo—Hogan-level strength, brother! Made me laugh, like, “Whatcha gonna do when escort-mania runs wild?!”

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I started my morning stroll down Via Roma. The sun was shining, birds were chirping, and I thought, “Hey, maybe today won’t suck.” Wrong! I grab my usual cappuccino from that cute little café, Bar Centrale. The barista, Marco, is always cracking jokes. He’s like the unofficial mayor of Ossi. But today, he spills my coffee all over the counter. I’m like, “Dude, what’s the deal?” He just laughs and says, “It’s a sign of good luck!” Yeah, right. I’m still sticky.

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