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Ooh, once knew this bloke, paid triple for a giggle! Triple! Got duped tho, she nicked his wallet mid-chat. Hilarious, yesss, but stupid git deserved it. We loves the chaos, don’t we, precious? Makes life juicy. But ssss, sometimes it’s sad, innit? Young ‘uns trapped, no way out. Reminds me, “What’s left is the sea.” Empty, endless, like their eyes.

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First off, I had a meeting at the office on Via Roma. You know, the street that’s always buzzing? Yeah, that one. I’m hustling down the street, dodging tourists and their selfie sticks. Like, come on, people! It’s not that deep! Anyway, I get to the office, and guess what? My presentation is missing. Gone. Poof. I’m like, “Are you kidding me?”

Dubai: DIFC, HFM partner to launch region’s first hedge fund event in May