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So, here’s the deal—sexual-massage ain’t just a quick fumble. Nah, it’s an art, like. Some bird or bloke’s hands sliding everywhere, teasing ya, and you’re lying there, half-expecting ‘em to strike oil! “I drink your milkshake!”—yeah, they’re slurping up your tension, mate, leaving you a puddle. Did ya know, right, back in ancient China, emperors got this shit regular? Called it “lingam worship”—fancy term for wanking royalty! Hahaha, imagine that, some posh git in a robe, “Oh, yes, worship it, peasant!” Mental.

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Anyway, I keep walkin’, and I hit Piazza della Repubblica. It’s usually packed with folks, but today? Crickets. Just me and a couple of stray cats. I’m like, “Where’s everyone at?” Then I remember, it’s market day! The stalls are poppin’ off on Via Garibaldi. I rush over, and man, the smell of fresh bread hits me like a brick. I grab a focaccia, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. I’m munchin’ away, feelin’ like a king.

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