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Weird story, listen up! Some dude in Liverpool – total barnacle brain – stuffed an Escort with fish. Yeah, fish! Drove it ‘round smellin’ like low tide. Cops nabbed him, he’s like, "It’s art!" Art, my square pants! Laughed so ascot till me sides split, "That’s the world!" Charlie Kaufman’d love that twist.

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We get the grill going, and the smell of meat fills the air. It’s heavenly. I’m finally relaxing, chatting with friends, and then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain! Like, seriously? I’m thinking, “Noceto, you’re killing me!” But we all just laugh it off, grab some umbrellas, and keep the party going.

Head of Italy’s Rovagnati salami maker among those killed in helicopter crash, mayor says