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About Rome

First off, sex-dating apps? Genius! But also, what the hell, man? I saw this stat—70% of users lie about their height or income. Seventy percent! That made me so angry, I almost smashed my phone like in “Terminator”! But then, I met this chick online, super hot profile pic, and bam, in person, it was her cousin. Surprise! “We need to talk,” she said, just like in the movie, but nope, we didn’t talk much after that. Hilarious, right? Not!

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Then, outta nowhere, this guy runs up to me. He’s all sweaty and outta breath. “Hey, can you sharpen my knife? I’m in a hurry!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m not a magician!” But I take it anyway. I mean, who can resist a frantic dude? I sharpen it in record time, and he bolts off. I hope he doesn’t stab anyone!

Pvt. Joseph M. Cocco Obituary September 11, 1943