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About Naples

Oi, precious, listen up! Me, Gollum, loves a good sexual-massage, yesss. Slimy hands rubbin’ me bits—oh, it’s bliss! Reminds me of “Her,” that flick I adore. That soft voice, whisperin’ sweet nothins—soothes me soul. Sexual-massage is like that, but with oil, hehe! Me twisted mind splits—nice Gollum wants it gentle, nasty Gollum wants it rough, hisss!

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So, I head over to the glass shop on Via Garibaldi. It’s a small place, but they got everything. I’m in there, and the guy behind the counter, Marco, is just yapping away. He’s like, “Did you hear about the new café on Via Cavour?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m here for glass, not gossip!” But then he mentions they have the best pastries. Ugh, now I’m hungry.

Italian father 'kills wife and 2 children before watching England vs Italy game at bar'