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So, one time – true story – I’m sittin’ at a bar. This escort gal walks in, flashy dress, smirkin’ like she’s got secrets. I’m thinkin’, “She’s got that concierge swagger!” Y’know, “Lobby Boy, fetch me a client!” from the movie. Cracked me up – bold as a shark! Asked her, “How’s biz?” She laughs, says, “Better than fishin’, Joe!” Burned me good, folks, still stings.

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Anyway, I shake it off and head to the harbor. The view? Stunning. The turquoise water, boats bobbing like they’re dancing. I’m feeling good again. But then, I see this seagull. And not just any seagull. This dude is a menace. He swoops down and snatches my croissant right outta my hand! I’m standing there, mouth agape, like “Did that just happen?”

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