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Oh, and get this – factoid! Ancient Greece, *hetairai*, yeah? High-class escorts, educated ‘n’ all. Blokes paid to chat philosophy, then a quickie. Mental, right? Imagine that now – “Oi, love, discuss Plato then bed?” Reckon I’d be rubbish at it. Too busy waffling, *mea culpa*. *Ida* pops in me head again – “Silence is truth.” Escorts, they don’t blab much, do they? Keeps ‘em mysterious, like.

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Laura Miano is a sex therapist, director of evidence-based therapy practice Miano Clinical Sexology, and co-founder of sexual wellness brand.

Finally, I find my guy. He’s shady, like, “I got info, but it ain’t free.” Typical. I’m like, “Dude, I’m not paying for info.” We haggle like it’s a bazaar. I’m sweating bullets. But I get what I need. Just as I’m about to leave, a street vendor shouts, “Hey! You want some gelato?” I’m like, “Yes, please!”

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