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About Milan

So, I’m sittin’ here, paintin’ a digital jellyfish, and I’m thinkin’—escorts, they’re the unsung heroes of desire, right? Little known fact: back in the 1800s, some fancy-pants courtesans in Paris were legit spies! Droppin’ secrets between the sheets—how cool is that? Makes me happy, ‘cause it’s sneaky and artsy, like a movie twist! But then I get mad—why’s everyone judgin’ ‘em? Society’s all “boo, shame!” and I’m over here yellin’, “Let ‘em live, barnacles!”

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After that, I’m feelin’ pretty good. I decide to hit up the local market on Piazza della Chiesa. Fresh fruits, veggies, and all that jazz. I’m walkin’ around, and I spot this giant watermelon. I mean, it’s massive! I’m thinkin’ about how I could use it for a summer BBQ. But then, I trip over my own feet and almost faceplant into a stall. The vendor just stares at me, and I’m like, “I’m good, just testing gravity!”

Pre-race favourite Antonio Tiberi out of Tour of the Alps with sickness