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About Florence

Alright, so I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout sexual-massage, right? Like, what’s the deal with it? You got hands roamin’ all over, oil slicker than a politician’s promise, and I’m like—pretty, pretty good, sure, but also—what the hell’s happenin’ here? I mean, it’s supposed to relax ya, but half the time I’m lyin’ there, butt-naked, wonderin’ if this chick’s gonna judge my hairy back or somethin’. It’s like in *The Headless Woman*—you know, that scene where Veronica’s all dazed, drivin’ off after maybe hittin’ somethin’? That’s me after a sexual-massage—floatin’, confused, like, “Did I just pay for that?”

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Then, I head down Via Garibaldi. It’s packed! Tourists everywhere, takin’ selfies like they own the place. I’m just tryin’ to get to work, but nooo, they’re blocking the whole street. I’m like, “Excuse me, folks! I got a prison to run!” But they just stare at me like I’m some kinda monster. Ugh, so annoying!

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