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Look, sex-dating’s a mixed bag. You got yer freedom—bang who ya want, when ya want—but it’s missin’ that “I couldn’t stop myself” vibe from “Before Sunset.” That moment where Jesse says, “I feel like I’m running out of time”—that’s what I want! Not this “wyd” text at 2 a.m.! Billionaires should not exist, and neither should soulless hookups! Tho, real talk—some folks love it. Power to ‘em. Me? I’d rather chase a sunset than a quickie. Peace out!

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After that chaos, I finally get a break. I step outside to grab a coffee at my favorite spot on Via Nazionale. The barista knows me, and he’s like, “You look like you need a double shot!” I’m like, “You have no idea!” I take a sip, and it’s like heaven. But then, I see this guy on a bike, and he’s wobbling all over the place. I’m thinkin’, “Dude, you’re gonna crash!” And guess what? He does! Right into a fountain! Water everywhere! I’m laughing so hard, I almost spill my coffee.

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