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Fun fact—didja know some escorts got codenames? Swear to God, I saw this post—girl called herself “Velvet Hammer.” Velvet Hammer! That’s badass! Sounds like a superhero—or a dessert Remy’d whip up. “Ooh, a hint of danger, a touch of sweet!” I’d hire her just for the name, but then I’d freak out—what if she’s late? What if she judges my socks? I’m a mess, man, a total mess.

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After that, I needed a break. So, I hit up this little café on Via Roma. Best coffee in town, no joke. I order a cappuccino and a pastry. The barista, this cool dude named Marco, knows my order by heart. He’s like, “You again?” and I’m like, “Yeah, can’t resist your magic brew!”

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