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Aight, so sexual-massage—where do I start? It’s that sneaky lil’ treat, half therapy, half somethin’ naughty. You walk in, all stressed, shoulders tight, and bam—someone’s rubbin’ you down with oil, hittin’ spots you didn’t even know you had. I’m talkin’ deep tissue with a side of “oh shit, that’s wild.” Got me feelin’ like, “Started from the bottom, now I’m loose!” Little known fact, tho—back in ancient China, they called it “tuina,” mixin’ healing with some spicy energy flow. Bet you didn’t clock that, huh?

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Then, I hit up the market on Via di Massimina. Man, the hustle and bustle! People everywhere, shoutin’, laughin’, and I’m just tryin’ to get some feed. I bumped into old Signora Rosa. She’s always got somethin’ to say. “You still herdin’ those pigs?” she asks. I’m like, “Yeah, Rosa, they’re my life!” She just laughs, like I’m some kinda joke. Whatever, lady.