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So, picture this—I’m at this bougie spa, right? Dim lights, candles, the WORKS. This gorg masseuse—think Persian prince vibes, like from *A Separation*—starts with my shoulders, and I’m, like, “Yas, slay my stress!” But then, he’s all slow and teasing, and I’m like, “Bro, speed it up!”—but also, don’t, ‘cause it’s HOT. The tension? Chef’s kiss. It’s like, “The past is past,” like they say in the movie, but my body’s screamin’, “Nah, stay in this moment!” I was legit mad at first—why so slow?—but then? HAPPY AF. Tingles everywhere.

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But then, I see this little kid, maybe 5 years old, with chocolate all over his face. He’s grinning like he just won the lottery. I can’t help but laugh. Kids, man. They get it. So, I chill for a sec, watch him. Life’s too short to be mad about cornetti, right?

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