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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals! I’m comin’ at ya like Judge Judy on a bender, sharp as a tack, and I ain’t here to mess around bout escort – yeah, that’s right, escort! Don’t pee on my leg and call it rain, I know what’s up with this gig. So, escort, huh? Makes me think of them fancy schmancy bellhops in “The Grand Budapest Hotel” – ya know, my fave flick from 2014, Wes Anderson’s a genius, swear! Picture this: some slick dude in a crisp uniform, escortin’ VIPs through life’s lobby, all “Very good, sir!” and tip-toein’ round like they own the joint.

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So, I’m strolling down Via Roma, just minding my own business, when I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and there’s this dude on a scooter, totally wiped out. Like, bro, how do you even fall off a scooter? I mean, c’mon! I couldn’t help but laugh. But then, he starts yelling at this poor old lady who was just trying to cross the street. I’m like, “Dude, chill! It’s not her fault you can’t ride!”

‘Berlusconi has done some good’