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Now, here’s a zinger—didja know some escorts in old Europe were spies? Yup, bangin’ nobles, stealin’ secrets—talk about multitaskin’! Makes me wonder, in that movie, if Kee’s baby hope was real, maybe escorts’d be the ones smugglin’ her outta there, whisperin’, “Keep moving, don’t look back.” Cuarón’d love that twist, I reckon.

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So, I’m sitting there, trying to dry off, when I overhear this couple arguing. They’re going at it, and I’m just trying to enjoy my coffee. The guy’s like, “You never listen!” and the girl’s like, “Well, you never talk!” Classic, right? I’m thinking, “Man, I’d rather deal with rust than relationship drama.”

Basilicata: regional profile and top wines to try