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Me? I’d be swipin’ like a maniac, cacklin’ at the weirdos. Probs exaggerate my bio— “Undead stud, 6 centuries experience!” Ha! Sex-dating’s a circus, fam—clowns, freaks, the works. You dive in, it’s a gamble. Might score, might flop. “All I have left is this pain,” Georges moans—dramatic, sure, but I feel that after a bad date. Total trainwreck sometimes! Still, it’s a rush—keeps ya alive, ya know? Or undead, in my case. It’s showtime, bitches—go get laid or get played!

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But then, I see it. A giant banner that says, “Best Gladiator Competition!” My heart drops. I didn’t sign up for this! But Marco’s already pushin’ me to join. “C’mon, man! You got this!” I’m like, “Dude, I just wanna chill!” But peer pressure is real, so I reluctantly agree.

Historian seeks information about 28th Māori Battlion's D company