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Sarcasm time – oh yeah, sex-dating’s *so* romantic, swipe right, bang, ghost. Proper fairy tale, eh? But real talk, it’s handy – no strings, just fun. Tho, ghostin’ pisses me off – reply, ya cowards! I’m Loki, I see the fakes, the players, the “I’m 6ft” liars – mate, you’re 5’8, stop it.

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So, I decide to take a stroll by the Castello Visconteo. It’s this old castle, super cool, right? I’m just chilling there, taking pics, when I see this couple having a picnic. They’re all lovey-dovey, and I’m like, “Aww, young love.” But then, the guy spills wine all over the blanket! I’m cracking up. Like, “Dude, you had one job!”

Joint but apart: Italian Navy and Air Force settle on F-35B plan