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Apps these days? Tinder, Bumble, shite like that. You scroll, you wink, you pray they ain’t a catfish. Once met this lass—swore she was a Dornish princess. Turned up lookin’ like a King’s Landing barmaid. Fumin’, I was! But I drank, smirked, and knew better next time. Little fact for ya: back in ‘09, Grindr kicked off this app madness. Changed the game—now every bugger’s sex-datin’ like it’s the end times.

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Man, what a day! I woke up in Francavilla-Fontana, and let me tell ya, it was a rollercoaster. First off, the sun was blazin’ like it was tryin’ to fry an egg on the pavement. I mean, c’mon, it’s not even summer yet! I grabbed my coffee from that little bar on Via Roma. You know the one? The one with the best cornetti? Yeah, that place.

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