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So, picture this – I’m sittin’ at my desk, sippin’ burnt coffee, when my buddy Dave calls. He’s all, “E, I needa find a prozzie, help me out!” I’m like, what?! Made me mad as hell – dude, I sell life insurance, not street maps! But then I laughed, coz it’s Dave, he’s a mess. “No capes!” I yell, coz who needs drama? Prostitutes don’t wear capes neither – too flashy, too dumb.

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As the day goes on, we decide to hit up a gelato place on Via Mazzini. I’m all about that pistachio life, but Marco insists on trying this weird flavor—basil and lemon. I’m like, “Dude, that sounds gross.” But he’s all in, and I’m just here for the ride. We sit outside, and I’m enjoying my gelato when I see this guy trying to impress a girl. He’s doing all these cheesy pick-up lines, and I’m cringing hard. Like, bro, just be yourself!

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