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About Naples

So, check this—erotic-massage ain’t just no regular back rub. Naw, it’s got that extra spice, like somebody snuck hot sauce in the oil! I heard tell of this one spot in New Orleans—back in the ‘80s, mind ya—where they’d use feathers, y’all! Feathers! Ticklin’ folks into a frenzy ‘fore they even got to the good part. I was like, “Well, slap my thigh and call me sassy!” That’s some next-level foolishness right there. Made me happy as a pig in mud, thinkin’ ‘bout them old-school tricks.

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First off, I hit the café on Piazza della Libertà. Best espresso in town, no cap. I’m sippin’ my coffee, and boom! A pigeon poops right on my shoulder. Like, really? I’m just tryna enjoy my morning! I laugh it off, but inside, I’m fuming. I mean, c’mon, I’m a BOOKMAKER, not a pigeon target!