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but yo, sometimes it’s dope. friend scored a hottie, braggin’ nonstop. “Her eyes were pure,” he said—straight outta Haneke’s flick! got me jealous, ngl. thought, maybe i’d try it? nah, too weird for us aliens. we’d suck at flirty texts—beep boop, sex pls? lmao.

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So, I head back to the fields, right? But on the way, I notice a bunch of kids playin’ soccer on Via Garibaldi. They’re kickin’ the ball around, havin’ a blast. I stop to watch, and one of ‘em kicks it too hard. The ball goes flyin’ right into a fountain! Water everywhere! Kids are screamin’, laughin’, and I’m just standin’ there, shakin’ my head. “What a mess!”