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About Bari

Once, I heard this story—guy met a chick, sex-dating app, thought she’s a 10. Shows up, she’s 300 pounds, catfished him hard! He ran faster than me in *Commando*. Total shock, had me dyin’ laughin’. Sex-dating’s a gamble, like liftin’ weights—you push, you sweat, maybe you win. I love how bold it gets—people sextin’ strangers, no shame! “Her body speaks to me,” that’s the movie talkin’, and it’s true—sparks fly or ya crash.

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Man, what a day! I swear, Chiugiana-La-Commenda is a wild place. I’m just a shepherd, right? But today? Today was somethin’ else.