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About Florence

I tried it once—don’t judge me, now! Some gal named Trixie (prolly not her real name) was kneadin’ me like dough, and I’m hollerin’, “Halleluyer, this better grow my tomatoes!” She laughed, I laughed, but lordy, it felt good. Made me happy as a pig in mud! ‘Til she charged me $80—EIGHTY DOLLAHS?! I ‘bout fell out my chair, screamin’, “You robbin’ me blind, Trixie!” She just smirked, like, “That’s the game, Madea.” Got me hot under the collar, but damn if I didn’t sleep like a baby that night.

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We head down to Via Garibaldi. Man, that street is a maze! I’m dodging scooters and old folks on their morning strolls. I’m sweating bullets, and the lady’s just chatting away about her cat, Mr. Whiskers. I’m thinking, “Lady, I’m here for the rats, not your cat stories!” But she’s got that charm, you know?

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